I hated school at the time. Now I kind of miss it. Well actually I miss the socialising with friends and the laughs we all used to share. At the time I would rather have been literally anywhere else.
Primary school was good! I loved my primary school. I made some good friends there and we also thought that we were going to go on to secondary school and still be great friends. No. It doesn’t work that way. I am currently not friends with anyone I went to primary school with. There are a couple I was really good friends with and now we speak now and then, but nothing close like friends. All of the friends I have now are people I met at secondary school. But that’s okay! As long as people are nice and good for you then it doesn’t matter when or how you became friends, all that matters is how you treat one another.
I was bullied in my first year of secondary school by someone who was one of my close friends in primary school. The bullying really knocked my confidence and how I saw myself. But, at the same time being bullied shaped me in to the person I am today. I was bullied primarily because I was ginger. Which to this day I still don’t understand… I was once attacked on my way home from school once for being ginger, and because of this I decided to dye my hair. The bullying because I was ginger stopped then it started for literally no reason. It moved on to me because I stood up for someone else who was getting bullied. I mean, I wont lie and say it didn’t affect me, because it did. But, it also taught me how to be tough and stand up for myself. Now I don’t take any shit from anyone and I’ll always put people in their place if they step out of line. So I’m grateful for that. I think that if I wasn’t bullied I would be this huge pushover who doesn’t have her own voice. And that is not what I would want. So I definitely wouldn’t change that. This isn’t me saying that bullying is good to toughen up kids. It’s not. Bullying is something that should never happen. Kids can be incredibly cruel and that is disgusting. I also think that schools should take more action over bullying accusations and protect the kids that are being bullied. My school did the bare minimum when I complained about being bullied, it’s disheartening. So you just learn to be quiet, or deal with it yourself. If you are being bullied at school then tell someone you really trust. A sibling, Mum, Dad, Cousin, just anyone you know who can and will help you make a difference. You can also reach out to me on here or on my social media, which are linked at the bottom of this page, and I promise I’ll help you anyway I can.
Academically I did all right. I wasn’t top of the class, nor was I bottom of the class. I was in a good mid range. I was top set for all my classes, so I had pretty high grade estimations. It was a lot of pressure really. You had these targets you had to meet and if you didn’t you had to move down class sets or get extra tutoring. I didn’t want to do either of those so the only thing I could do was try and stay on top of my grades. I managed to go my whole secondary school life without dropping out of top set, which was a relief.
Picking my GSCE subjects was really tough for me. I had no idea what I wanted to be in the future so how was I supposed to pick subjects for that future? I ended up picking photography, drama, history and graphics. I don’t know why I picked these subjects. I kind of wish I had picked something else now like French, art or geography. Oh well, there’s not much I can do about it now.
Photography was good, it was an easy subject and it was something I enjoyed so I didn’t see any downsides to it.
I picked drama because I’m a very dramatic person, plus I enjoyed it. I really liked my course; for our main piece we performed extracts from the musical Blood Brothers by Willy Russell. I didn’t do as well as I would’ve hoped though.
I love history. It’s one of my favourite subjects. I find it so interesting and enjoyable. But… and it’s a big but, we learned mostly modern history. Modern history including the rise and fall of Hitler, WW2, modern medicine and crime and punishment in modern history. They are literally the same subjects we studied our whole secondary school life. It gets boring after a while. I love ancient history, Egyptians, Romans, Tudors, Georgians, all of the cool stuff we never really learnt about. That was such a bummer, but it’s what I picked so it’s what I had to do.
Graphics. So many things went wrong in graphics. First off I hated it. It was so boring, I was not interested in it whatsoever. Second, our teacher left half way through our course with no explanation. This would’ve been okay, if he had not have taken all my course work home and not brought it back. I didn’t have enough time to do my course work again so I never had any coursework handed in to the exam board which was pretty shit. Hours and hours worth of work just gone. I got a D in my exam which I’m pretty impressed with considering it was all on the exam and not in correlation with any coursework. If my coursework had been handed in I reckon I would’ve got an A. But who is to know.
During my second to last year at school (year 10) I got ill with depression anxiety which put a huge strain on my education. I missed a lot of school because of it, and also other personal reason which tie in together. Because I was ill and missing school this caused me to become even more anxious about my grades and my future. It was a pretty vicious cycle.
I actually hated college. The tutors/lecturers there were rubbish at empathy when it came to mental health and that really affected me. I wasn’t very well at all when I started college, probably the lowest I’ve ever been and they just didn’t seem to understand. I missed lots of lectures at college, then in the end I decided to drop out and focus on myself instead. I was actually going to go back again in the following September, but I went for my interview and the guy who I saw just didn’t believe I was mentally ill at all. It was really upsetting. He said to me ‘you got the grades so I can’t really reject you’. Uhm, yeah thanks mate. That made me feel shit so in the end I just never went back.
Obviously every one has different experiences at school, some of you may have really positive times and enjoy it. That’s awesome! But some of you may have a horrible time at school, but just remember not every thing is finalised. Your grades at school wont always matter and you can change them. Always work hard but don’t push yourself too far or put too much pressure on yourself!
Thanks for reading!